The new CSI episode that aired on Thursday night was called “Leapin’ Lizards” and was yet another effort that seemed completely off-balance and totally unlike the show that I’ve been watching for the next seven years. I’ve gotta tell ya, I’m a bit relieved that there are only two episodes left in this dreadful season. Hopefully the entire writing and producing team will use the summer months to evaluate the future of this series. In the meantime, here’s what happened in episode 7×22.
The ep opens with Brass and a S.W.A.T. team roaring up to a farmhouse. There’s a guy holed up inside, but we don’t know why he’s in there, what he’s done, or how the cops were called to his property. The guy inside starts spewing the usual stuff about how they’ll “never take him alive” and all that; then the bullets start flying shortly after. One of the S.W.A.T. team members gets hit, which results in the rest of the team storming the house. The homeowner takes one look at what’s coming before sticking the end of a shotgun in his mouth and pulling the trigger.
During the subsequent investigation, Grissom finds a mounted human head out in the barn. DNA testing confirms that the victim is a woman named Chyna de Vere. [Note: This part doesn't make sense to me. Right before the credits, Grissom made a stupid joke about feeling like Marco Polo because he "just discovered Chyna", which made it seem like the cops were looking for this woman. But during the investigation, I don't think they ever mentioned that the whole thing began as a missing person's case. So how did Grissom know what he was looking at in the barn? Or did I completely miss the missing person references because the ep was so dumb?!]
Catherine and Greg search Chyna’s apartment and conclude that that’s where she was killed. The apartment has been cleaned, however, so they don’t get much evidence from there. They do decide, however, that they need to look for someone who recently rented a steam cleaner, so that’s a start.
Meanwhile, Grissom, Nick, and Warrick continue combing the farmhouse for evidence. Nick finds skeletal remains in the pigsty, measures them, and concludes that they’re from the body of a human female. Could be Chyna.
As the episode drags on, we see that the prime suspects in the murder are Chyna’s husband and his mistress. They belong to some weird group that believes in aliens and conspiracy theories. In fact, they think that most of the powerful people in the world are actually shape-shifting lizards — not humans at all. Uh huh. The CSIs eventually crack the case, so all is well by the time the hour ends.
My Reaction: What in the hell is happening to CSI? I mean, seriously — this was one of the worst episodes I’ve ever seen! They gave a blatant shout-out to The X-Files, which was nice and all, but CSI is not supposed to be like TXF!!! This ep was complete garbage, which is why I hardly paid attention and instead read and wrote emails throughout.
Oh, and what was up with those random Gil/Sara at home scenes? Did we really need to see Sara gushing over that stupid love letter? Gil quoting Shakespeare to her nearly made me puke… Gawd, please stop with the ’shipper stuff before I tune out for good. BTW, what was Gil working on at the end there? Is he going to turn out to be the serial killer that leaves miniatures behind??? Hahahaha — at least that would be entertaining. And maybe he could even make Sara his next victim :twisted:.