By J.E.
The May 13 episode of Desperate Housewives was the first of a two-part season finale. It was called “What Would We Do Without You” and dealt mostly with preparations for Gabby and Susan’s upcoming weddings. In addition, there was plenty more Lynette and Tom in-fighting, with a surprising twist along the way. Here’s a closer look at what happened in episode 3×22.
Susan/Mike/Gabby: Mike and Susan get engaged on the one-year anniversary of Mike’s hit-and-run accident, which of course was the night he was originally going to pop the question. Susan felt this would be a good day to get engaged (officially) so they could “turn a bad memory into a good one.”
Planning the wedding won’t be a problem, either. After all, Susan already spent months getting things ready for her wedding to Ian. Mike won’t mind having the same wedding, so all Susan has to do is call everyone back and tell them the wedding is on again — with just a small substitution in the groom’s name!
That plan actually might have worked, except for the fact that Gabby pounced on the wedding date and all of Susan’s hired help (photographer, florist, etc.) as soon as she heard that Susan cancelled. Her excuse was that Victor wants to get married quickly, and this was the fastest way to get things done.
The two ladies fight for awhile, but then make up and get drunk on wine and chocolate. At that point, they think it would be a good idea to have a double wedding, but the next morning they realize how much of a mistake that would be. Both use their future husbands as excuses to back out of the plan.
Lynette/Tom: Lynette is still brooding about the way Tom drove Rick off. Tom can’t stand that Lynette’s not talking to him, so he brings in an old frat buddy who’s now a couple’s counselor. Of course, Tom doesn’t tell Lynette that the guy is a counselor; he just pretends that his friend is there to visit them. Lynette sees through the scheme quickly, and gets even more angry with Tom.
Tom won’t give up, and continues to press the issue. He finally gives Lynette an ultimatum: either have sex with him or talk to him. He wants to connect with her again, and those are the only two things he can think of, apparently. Lynette flips out at this and gets extremely angry. She’ll have sex with him, but she “won’t make love” to him. She starts ripping his clothes off violently, and scratches him in her anger. Tom reacts by pushing Lynette off him, and she ends up hitting her head on the end table.
Later, at the hospital, the doctor who evaluated Lynette’s CAT scan has some concerns about what he sees: it’s possible that Lynette could have cancer.
Edie/Carlos: Mike moves in with Susan, which means Carlos will have the house all to himself. Edie doesn’t like this arrangement since they almost always spend the night together anyway, so she asks Carlos to move in with her. He hesitates and says he just signed a new lease, etc.
Edie won’t take “no” for an answer, so she goes to the homeowner and starts telling her lies about Carlos, saying that he’s a “functional junkie” who’s addicted to heroin and who frequently brings hookers to the house. The woman believes Edie, tears up the lease, and orders Carlos to leave within a couple of days.
Edie offers Carlos a spot in her house, and Carlos immediately figures out that Edie must have been behind his eviction. He tells her that the reason he doesn’t want to move in with her is that he’s not in love with her. Edie is taken aback by this, but she’s already got Plan B in place: she pulls a pregnancy test out of her grocery bags and tells Carlos that she’s late.
They go back to her house to take the test, but it comes out negative. Edie can see how disappointed Carlos is by the news, so she suggests that they try to have a baby. They debate for awhile, then Carlos agrees to do it. Meanwhile, we see Edie in the bathroom taking her birth control pills. Turns out she’s just scheming to get Carlos to stay with her.
My Reaction: I thought the Tom/Lynette storyline was the most compelling of the night. Felicity Huffman continues to wow me with nearly every performance. She’s really making me sympathize with Lynette’s situation regarding the whole Rick thing. I don’t think there needs to be a possible cancer twist here, but we’ll see how it goes.
The other stuff was pretty boring. I so sick of all the wedding preparation talk — just get to it already! And Carlos and Edie as a couple still make me gag, so I’m just counting down the days til they break up. Hopefully Carlos will come to his senses before Gabby walks down the aisle with Victor.
And hey, Bree’s back next week!!!