The last time I went to the video store, I had one of those days where it felt like I’d already seen everything on the shelves. I had all the New Releases covered, which meant that I had to venture over to the inner aisles to try to find a movie I had missed when it was out in wide release. Of course, I often forget that if I skipped a particular film made within the last five years or so, there was probably a good reason for it (namely, that it got horrible reviews). That was definitely the case with Alex & Emma, the 2003 romantic comedy starring Luke Wilson and Kate Hudson — but I made the mistake of renting it anyway.

Plot summary (with possible spoilers): As the film opens, we meet author Alex Sheldon (played by Wilson). He’s sitting in front of his laptop trying to come up with a good opening sentence for his next novel. Adam’s severe case of writer’s block is interrupted when two tough-looking goons bust down his door and demand the repayment of a $50,000 gambling debt. Alex begs for more time, saying that he doesn’t have the money now but as soon as he turns in a manuscript to his publisher, he’ll collect a $125,000 advance. The goons rough him up a bit, give him a 30-day deadline, and then inexplicably set fire to his laptop before leaving. Why would they remove Alex’s only means of making back the money he owes them?

The reason becomes clear in the very next scene: the burning of the laptop was merely a plot device to throw the two leads together. That’s because now in order to complete his novel, Alex has to retain the services of a stenographer. And instead of getting stuck with a no-nonsense 50-something spinster with gray hair (pulled back in a bun, of course) who wears bifocals on a granny chain, Alex gets the beautiful young Emma (Hudson). Unfortunately for this film, the plot contrivances become even more transparent and unbelievable from this point forward.

Anyway, Emma conveniently agrees to defer payment for 30 days until Alex receives his check from the publisher. She then types away as Alex dictates his novel to her (and I should note that the writer’s block has suddenly disappeared). From there, we get the old film-within-a-film technique, where Alex’s novel comes alive on the screen. So we see Alex in the role of Adam, the protagonist in his novel. And we see Emma as various minor characters in the novel, plus we get a whole new love interest named Polina (Sophie Marceau) and a rival named John Shaw (David Paymer).

The rest of the film shows how Alex gets the novel written with lots of real-time feedback from Emma, how he’s able to pay off his gambling debts (which the goons decide to double up despite Alex meeting the deadline), and how Alex and Emma inevitably fall in love after spending so much time together.

My Reaction: There were really so many problems with Alex & Emma that I hardly know where to begin — but I’ll take a shot anyway. First of all, the novel that Alex wrote completely sucked! There’s no way a piece of crap like that would have gotten a $125,000 advance from a publishing company. I know this was just a romantic comedy and that we weren’t really supposed to believe that Alex could generate a work on par with Dostoevksy’s Gambler (written, by the way, under the exact same circumstances), but it would have helped the film if the book was halfway decent.

Another problem I had with this film is that Alex and Emma had no chemistry whatsoever. The audience wasn’t given any reason to believe that these two could have fallen in love. We didn’t see it happening because the filmmakers didn’t show it happening. We get a single Day Out montage, but that’s it. I couldn’t see Emma falling for a compulsive gambler like Alex in the first place.

Moreover, there weren’t any obstacles in Alex and Emma’s way. In every romantic comedy, there has to be an obstacle, a rival that gets in the way of the leads being together. But in this movie, the real Polina doesn’t show up until close to the end and it felt like her scenes were just tacked on. We didn’t really believe that Alex was in love with her and was facing a tough choice between Polina and Emma, so what was the point of having Polina show up at all?

And finally, the screenwriter didn’t do a very good job of making us feel the urgency of Alex’s situation. It’s like the writer assigned an arbitrary deadline and that’s it. Yes, we got two scenes of the goons trying to threaten Alex, but they came off more as caricatures than as real villains. So when Alex was dictating his novel, I didn’t get the sense that he was doomed if he didn’t finish it.

Overall, I thought Alex & Emma was far too contrived from start to finish and really suffered from a lack of chemistry between Wilson and Hudson. As a result, I give this movie just 2 stars out of 5.