I’m not really big on spoof films and haven’t seen too many over the years, but when I was combing through a friend’s DVD collection and noticed that he had Date Movie, I decided to borrow it. I’d never even heard of Date Movie before, so I didn’t know how it was received, nor did I have any idea what to expect from it. The only reason I wanted to give it a try was that it stars Alyson Hannigan, and I’ve become a fan of hers because of her role on the sitcom How I Met Your Mother. Having just finished watching this movie, all I can say is that I hope Hannigan was contractually obligated to accept the project and didn’t enter into it of her own free will!

Plot summary (with possible spoilers): Hannigan stars as a young woman named Julia Jones who fears that she’ll never find Mr. Right because she’s grossly obese, socially inept, and her father Frank (played by Eddie Griffin) insists that she marry someone with the same heritage (black, Greek, Japanese, Indian, and Jewish). Refusing to accept a lonely life, Julia goes to see a matchmaker named Hitch (this is a spoof, remember) to help her find her true love.

From there, the movie goes into full-on spoof mode, lifting scenes and dialogue mostly from Meet the Parents and Meet the Fockers. Other films alluded to (that I could identify) were: Napoleon Dynamite, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Pretty Woman, My Best Friend’s Wedding, The Wedding Crashers, The Wedding Planner, Hitch, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, What Women Want, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Kill Bill, and King Kong. What’s more, the film even went so far as to spoof Paris Hilton’s infamous burger commercial, as well as the MTV show Pimp My Ride.

During the course of all these parodies, Julia finds a man, falls in love, loses the man, and wins him back in time for a perfect wedding.

My Reaction: Maybe I left my sense of humor behind when I saw Date Movie, because I hardly found anything to laugh about. In fact, I think the only scene that generated a smile was at the very beginning when Julia (in full fat mode) was dancing to the song Milkshake — and making such a spectacle of herself that a nearby construction worker decides to shoot himself in the head with a nail gun. Beyond that, I don’t think I laughed at all.

Do I have the wrong idea of what spoofs are supposed to be like? I thought they just took a basic theme and riffed on it in their own way. But Date Movie lifts extended scenes and even word-for-word dialogue sequences. WTF? That’s not funny, it’s just stealing.

And what was up with all those stupid cat jokes? I mean, forgive me for being above toilet humor and bestiality, but I thought that very extended scene of the cat on the toilet was just dumb, and I won’t even go into the whole cat-and-corpse or cat-and-old-neighbor pairings. Again, is this what passes as humor in Hollywood?

Well, perhaps I’m in the minority here, as Date Movie raked in more than $100 million worldwide and there’s reportedly a sequel in the works. You can bet I won’t be seeing it, however, as I’ll never forget how bad this effort was. I give Date Movie 0 stars out of 5.